Jeff's Articles

Connecting the Dots in the Education Picture

It is our knee jerk reaction as parents to blame the teacher(s) for somehow failing to present the material in manner necessary for our kids to master concepts. Seldom does a parent or student look to the administration for answers as to why a child failed a midterm or ask the administration why a major test would be given the same day there is a playoff game. We, as loving parents, and concerned students would rather blame the mean old battle axe teacher who hates sports and for that matter teaching all together.

I walked into a school the other day and noticed a sign that read, "If you have a conflict with next years class schedule please contact "the school." I ducked my head into the administration's offices and asked the receptionist if "the school" was in his/her office. Sarcastically I continued and asked her what the "school" had for lunch and what did "the school" look like if I needed to contact him/her after my presentation.

The problem with having a group, "the school," in charge is that it lacks one's ability to confront the individual that is solely responsible.

How can we as parents be angry with a teacher who blames the administration for the problem? If an issue does not fall onto the desks of the administration, rather under the umbrella of "the school," then what or whose doors do we knock on?

Understanding the hierarchy involved in educating our youth is critical to all parents and students attending public schools.

As I understand it the basic hierarchy that is responsible for any and all educational related issues goes as follows:

The School Board

Community member's lobby for a seat on this board, the unanimous vote wins and the member holds their seat until such time as the term runs out. Reelection is necessary to regain one's seat back on the board. Often times "board members" serve several terms...life terms for some members. Responsible for monthly meetings to discuss issues raised by superintendent or the principal.

Superintendent of Schools

An individual hired by the school board to act as a middleman between "the school" and the school board.

Principal

Individual(s) recommended for the position by the superintendent, voted on and approved by the school board. The principal’s primary job is to meet the needs of the teacher, the parent, the student and the superintendent ensuring the school board's vision for the school to all parties.

Teacher

Individuals recommended for hire by the principal to the superintendent, who in turn presents the candidate for school board approval. Responsible primarily for classroom instruction, but expected and asked to do much more.

Now that I have shared with you the food chain it is easy to see the obvious gaps in the otherwise neatly packaged public school hierarchy.

Who is to blame for the major exam given on the day of the playoff game? The way I see it if the players didn't work so hard to be in the playoffs by attending practices and putting time in during the off-season, then there would be no playoff game.

All joking aside... just as in running a successful business or organized home, a great deal of communication is necessary, as is a willingness to share responsibilities, rather than shift blame. In all likelihood there was a failure to communicate agendas within the parties involved in scheduling the test the same day as the playoff game. Given the situation no blame needs to be assigned rather solutions could and should be offered.

Understanding the model that governs the classroom can only help make our youth's educational experience better. Be informed; attend a school board meeting at least once in your or your child's academic career. Knowing is power...

The Basic Formula for Success

As a society we have over-encouraged otherwise ordinary teens to take what is in their reach and to claim whatever they are reaching for as their own, whether they have earned it or not.

I watched the American Idol final show and wondered how so many first round contestants could have possibly believed that they shared the same talent as the refined performers making the final show. How is that we can tell a child that they can be a doctor when they can't even pass high school biology?

The disservice that we as a society have shown our youth by failing to instill a work ethic and a firm belief that all things in life require hard work, commitment and dedication is what we see in large scale in the masses of unrehearsed, under qualified, uneducated vocalists that wait for the Idol judges to cut them off and send them packing. Real tears are shed and real feelings are hurt when that bubble that some of these teens have lived in most of their lives is burst.

We are all given a set of gifts and basic survival skills. We all have dreams and aspirations of achieving greatness and for others just finishing the race. In order to be successful and earn our place at the top of the heap we must put in the work.

The easiest way to express both my concern and my feelings is to put them in terms of a mathematical equation...

3D's + hard work = SUCCESS

{where 3D's = desire, dedication, determination}

(When any or all of these parts are missing the most basic and achievable goal will be unattainable)

Because we say we are great, does not mean that we are so.

At some point in each child's life they realize their potential. At the moment that potential is realized an individual has the opportunity to either tap into that potential or to believe that knowing how great they could be is simply good enough. The latter entitles us to own our potential greatness without having done the "3D's + hard work" necessary to be successful.

The unfortunate thing about not only believing our own immortality as well as being told of its power, is that eventually it leads to the crushing moment when an outsider informs us of how extremely far from great we really are…OUCH!

Don't ever let your personal belief in your greatness stand in the way of the work that YOU MUST do to truly be AWESOME. The cliche "if you believe…you can achieve it," only reminds us that our dream is possible. MAKE YOUR DREAMS YOUR REALITY…it IS possible.

Dropping Out...a Failure to Launch

The option of leaving school prior to graduation has become a trend of choice for more and more teens.

As a motivator who works with teens in a school setting I am extremely troubled by the increase in high school drop-outs.

When did the option of leaving school not only become socially acceptable but more importantly an option? How is it that a teenager can make this decision?

The laws of our society state that until you are 18 years of age you are not considered an adult and therefore your choices as a minor are limited to what is considered safe and reasonable. As a teen under 18 you can not fight for your country, you can not get married without parental consent, and you cannot vote...BUT...you can decide you would rather get a job and take the GED (Good Enough Degree) rather than finish your education.

Washing out of the educational system prior to graduation is a failure to launch, a failure to reach your potential and even worse limits your options as you enter adulthood.

Don't settle for what is easiest in life, but more importantly finish what you started seventeen years ago...STAY IN SCHOOL...the hot lunches may suck, and the kids can be cruel but it's what I want you to do and so should you.

Middle School Blues

In lower school we took a seed, placed it in a paper cup, filled it with dirt and watched it grow. In middle school we took a plant dissected it, identified its parts and then threw it in the garbage wrapped in brown paper towel. In high school we studied the chemical process of metabolism and the conversion of food to energy and never even touched a plant.

I have heard it said that middle school is the new high school.

Is it possible that in our attempt to speed things up that middle school has indeed become more and more like high school? Have we taken the fragility of puberty and pushed the fast forward button on our kids? If this is true does it mean that our lower schools are now complicated with the overwhelming issues that happen in middle school?

Slow down... now hold on... what's the hurry?

Nothing makes me more satisfied than when I walk the halls of a middle school and am able to witness age appropriate behavior. A familiar pain in my heart reoccurs when I observe a note being passed, or a group of boys standing next to a group of girls, neither group fully acknowledging the other. I smile when I hear a squeaky voice in the audience when a pre-teen boy musters the courage to ask me a question that his buddies dared him to ask.

It bothers me and gives me a sick feeling in my stomach when I witness adult behavior in the same forum. I feel uncomfortable when I see a middle school girl draped over her "boyfriend" during recess. I find it difficult to understand the desire to dress and act much older than the years these kids have lived. I am mystified at the reasoning of a middle school child having access to text messaging, cell phones, internet, and anything else that comes down the information highway.

The speed at which our youth travel through life is so fast that kids are missing out on the innocence of their youth, a gift so precious that it is only given once in a lifetime. The need to know and have access to adulthood has overshadowed the need to be young and curious.

We have only our youth to actually be young, and the rest of our lives to feel young at heart. I want to encourage kids to embrace and enjoy the journey they will take into adulthood. If life was intended to go at warp speed out hearts would beat faster, we would sleep less and live fewer years. Living in the here and now and taking time to experience and explore along the way is one of the most critical things a child can do in preparing to be an adult.

Trying Times

Saying I can't is the same thing is saying I won't. Too many kids are using this excuse as a reason for refusing to fail.

If a child uses the disclaimer "I can't" when asked to juggle three balls, then we as educators are pushed away and forced to make a difficult choice, do we impose our will or do we back off?

In a smaller intimate setting adults and educators can encourage the child who says, "I can't." We bring these kids along slowly by using baby steps and positive reinforcement. In this type of setting the educator can motivate the unwilling child to try to first toss one ball in the air and catch it. Once success is experienced with one ball we, the adult cheerleaders, say things like, "I knew you could do it," or "see that wasn't so hard." The child who started by saying I can't responds to this nudging by agreeing to try a second ball and eventually a third.

The reality is there are thirty other kids in the class of which half are saying I can't. The teacher can choose to either exhaust himself motivating this group of naysayers or he can focus his attention on the half of the class that is at least willing to try. POOF! Just like that the kid who said, "I can't" doesn’t have to try to learn how to juggle.

Are these kids really saying "I can't" because they are physically or mentally unable?

In my opinion these kids are saying, "I won't do what you are asking me to do, and there is nothing you can do to make me even attempt to juggle."

Humiliation may be one factor for the unwillingness to try new things but more than likely these kids fear not being perfect. The idea of exposing one's inadequacies, as well as imperfections when asked to attempt something new is the BIG reason kids say, "I can't."

Let me remind all of you of one thing...NOBODY but NOBODY is perfect. The only way you will ever know what you are capable of is to try.

A Few Words for the Peanut Gallery

I am always surprised at the attitude that some parents have when it comes to the people who coach their children.

Simply put, coaches are just people, the same as you and me. They are people who care about kids, as well as, people who are trying to tap into an atheletes potential and provide them the skill sets necessary to be successful.

When evaluating a coach's duty it is necessary to realize that they must take a group of individuals, with varying abilities, skills, and desires, and unite them as a team. Once the individuals recognize the strength of the team the coach must convince the team members that it is necessary to function together in harmony in order to achieve the common goal.

Among the roster a coach will have natural athletes, trained athletes, potential athletes and a few kids that are really not interested in the sport but find themselves "trying out" in order to please someone else. Coaches spend hours learning and appreciating players as individuals in order to give them a place and purpose on the team.

Coaches must humble but not kill the spirit of a naturally gifted player when asking her to sacrifice her ego for the betterment of the team. Coaches must bring meaning to a player who practices every day but never plays. In spite of these obstacles a coach must attend daily practices in order to unite and inform their team to give them best chance to be successful on game day and in life.

Why do parents focus on the coach being the problem?

In my opinion parents and players need to look in the mirror not at the person with the whistle. They need to take the time and energy used for complaining and put it towards practicing outside of school. Parents of young athletes should not be looking to the coach but rather to themselves asking, what can I do to help my child? If a parent is unwilling to shag balls, rebound or provide extra practice time for their child than they can't blame the one person willing to spend time with their kids every day after school. The fact of the matter is some players are better and have done the work necessary to earn them big minutes. Parents and players must humble themselves, just as a coach does, and realize that other players are better players…but not necessarily better people.

Parents have a responsibility to support the coach. Parents should recognize the different abilities of each player on the team. Parents who support the program and the coach in spite of their own child’s role can help teach valuable life lessons.

Student athletes are learning not just from their coaches but from the people they see the most-the people whose judgment they dread but look for. The people they live with and need approval from. What they are learning in attitudes today will make them the adults they are tomorrow.

Stuck on you

Many college students enter their freshman year with their high school sweetheart waiting patiently back home…in high school.

Promises to endure the distance and resist temptations are made by the loving couple. There exists a true belief that one-day vows will be exchanged and husband and wife will ride off into the sunset. The reality of this happening, though possible, is highly unlikely, as well as unhealthy.

High School is a setting where everyone exists in a "closed" community. College on the other hand is an "open" community where other people from other communities with similar interests coexist.

During a young persons college experience the foundation for the friendships made is very different than the bonds made while surviving high school. When reflecting on the rules and regulations that govern a teen's life during high school most of the authority is provided by the parents. Mom and dad enforce curfews, require courtesy notes or phone calls, and expect to be involved in day-to-day decisions. In college, teens are 100% accountable and personally responsible for themselves...and so is everyone else on campus!

College and the college experience are supposed to be the best years of your life. The microcosm of campus life will provide students with the survival skills, ambition and opportunity used later in "real" life. Attending college while attempting to maintain a relationship in high school is like swimming in the ocean with a lead weight shackled to your ankle; it makes swimming, treading water, or even floating impossible.

The basic animal need to run free exists within all of us. At some point in our lives (usually post high school) we welcome our independence with open arms. We embrace the challenges surrounding our personal growth. Just as a college freshman needs to exercise his/her independence the love of his/her life sitting in 6th period study hall needs to do start to do the same thing.

The mixed feelings involved in maintaining a high school relationship while in college exists for both parties. The co-ed possesses the feeling of being held back, while the high school student experiences the inability to move forward with his/her peers.

When making the decision to stay in the relationship I believe that allowing each other the freedom to explore other relationships will provide both individuals with the opportunity to grow into healthier adults, capable of healthy adult relationships. College is a time for young people to sample all that life has to offer...try it you might like it.

When you say jump...

Why do teens succumb to peer pressure?

In reading a few articles on this subject it seems that there is a general consensus within the clinical community that teens are susceptible to peer pressure for a number of reasons. Among the identifying qualities of a teen headed down the path of least resistance are; low self esteem, lack of self confidence, non-successful friendships, isolation, loneliness, and depression.

I agree with the research and its results and caution any kid to be wary in the face of peer pressure if you exude any or all of these characteristics.

I, on the other hand, believe that understanding peer pressure involves a non-clinical perspective.

In my opinion peer pressure in high school today is a lot like a game of truth or dare. The question of how far would you go to be as cool or cooler than your peers is asked and most teens respond with, "as far as necessary." In a society that showcases the most extreme behaviors as extraordinary, it seems only logical that when pushed by the group a teenager would respond by accepting the challenge.

The kid that stands down the challenges of the group is often times considered an outcast, or loser. In the opinion of an adolescent there is nothing that commendable about saying "no" to a group of your peers...especially in high school. Peer pressure has less and less to do with the issues identified by clinical professionals and more and more to do with the "bring it on mentality" that most kids have accepted as commonplace.

Refusing to do what the group asks you to do or expects you to do, makes you an individual. Being original and independent in your behavior makes you unique. Just at this society seeks the extremist we accept and welcome one's originality. Refusing to join in at the request, or often times begging, by your friends is an opportunity to make a statement about your own personal boundaries, beliefs and desires.

Be an original. Think outside the box. Go the opposite direction of the group in order to rise to the challenge. If you lead...others will follow!

GOAL
G= Getting
O= Out
A= and
L= Learning

When I ask a room full of students what there goals are for the semester they struggle to name five. Conversely I have problems limiting myself to five for any given day.

Is getting through each day without ambition a teen phenomenon that has gone undiscovered?

Doubtful.

It is safe to assume that most teens lack the awareness to realize that each day is an opportunity to acquire new knowledge, and a chance to be challenged both emotionally and physically and occasionally spiritually. Stepping outside the box of what comes easy or what is predictable is NOT something teens are willing to do.

The next question is why? Why is it that a mind and body primed and designed for learning and processing new information or skills is rotting day after day within the confines of predictability?

One cannot achieve any goal unless there is an underlying desire to first learn a new skill or to be challenged in some way to do so. Once the seed of knowledge has been planted it is possible to gather the tools needed to experience success. A very important step in accomplishing one’s goals is making time for practice. Repetition reinforces the skill sets being taught. In my opinion there needs to be an outside threat or reason to improve in order to raise the bar as well as to be pushed into mastering new concepts or skills. Finally their needs to be an overwhelming desire to experience success or be successful.

It may sound like I am setting you up for failure by even mentioning success.

What if you fail?

Here is the thing that is so difficult to grasp but is so important to know... if you never try you have already failed. Sounds cliché but if you think about it, wanting to do something and not following through on your desire to do so is a failure to try.

Take advantage of your teenage years by setting goals for yourself. Take the time to learn new things or to be challenged in new ways. When opportunity knocks…answer the door and step into new and foreign territory. Improve or even master whatever it is your learning by practicing. Lastly, start a new list of goals having completed one or more of the goals on your previous list.